Do you ever get that sinking feeling?

Oh man, what a day.

I have to say this is about as low as i have felt for quite some time, and believe me, that is saying something.

Where to begin?

Well let’s first acknowledge that once again i have failed in my attempt to actually keep a blog, and it is something like 6 months since my last entry. Recently i have revisited those posts and it has been at the back of my mind to get back on here and write some of my obviously hilarious observations and day to day goings on. I would say shenanigans but i don’t know how to spell it.

What is going on right now is, i have been made redundant. Yep. As i write i have something like 2 months to find a new job, or face the prospect of loosing my home… and god knows what else.

Probably my sanity.

But wait, help is at hand. I was offered a job yesterday.

Now, in the current economic crisis we all face i am going to sound incredibly ungrateful, but i don’t want it.

From what i gather i will be driving around London in a van, fixing desktop pc’s. Or taking phone calls on all manner of subjects non IT related. The prospect of working nights and weekends also doesn’t fill me with joy – and especially when you consider i will be doing all of this for at least £5000 less than i currently earn.

I am not so stupid to believe i wont have to take any pay cut in order to get a job, but i don’t think anyone would be keen on this, put in my position.

Matters are compounded when you learn you missed out on several positions at a good company by a matter of days, a company, had i been smart enough at the time, i would already be working for.

Yes, they offered me a job about a year ago and i turned them down. I try not to regret things, just find the positives and look forward, but this one hurts.

Rant over.

My Granddad died last Friday. A big shock. He was fantastically intelligent, even well into his eighties he was studying C++ at the local college, he never stopped, never really retired, and will be missed by a great many people. I wont say much more as i will probably sob into the keyboard, and no one wants to see that. My other Granddad died just a few months ago and i still don’t think that has really hit me.

Stella is walking now, she is 11 months, she will be one on October the 15th. She really does change every day, whether it be dancing to the Kings of Leon, incredibly inappropriate Sex_On_Fire, or Sitting down to watch Thomas (the tank engine) now named Thomas and friends, or In the night garden, which i have not seen but sounds absolutely mental.

Peep Show starts tonight, which should lift my mood as it always does.

Life has a funny way of working out, and i am sure this dark mood will pass and i will see things clearer in a few days time.